Through The Tulips Words of 'Wiz'dom

June 21, 2014

Time Flies…

Filed under: Life,Sands of Time — gardener @ 8:33 am

You know the old adage- time flies when you’re having fun. We’ve been doing exactly that. My little garden is in full bloom and my first zucchini is making its way into the world, along with my tomatoes. It’s my first attempt at growing anything outside of herbs, so to see each blossom turn into something that will end up on our table, brings me more joy than I have words to express.

On top of that- the weather has been out of this world amazing- and I’m committed to getting back into a regular exercise routine, so I’ve been walking daily. Part of the time with friends, other times with Marcel, and I suspect the days will come when I walk alone- It’s great for the soul.

It’s hard to believe that in a little over a week- that we will be entering July- also known as ‘my birthday month’. A month long celebrating the year of my birth. Yes- that’s my kind of fun.

How is your summer going thus far?

January 29, 2014

Female Woes

Filed under: Health/ Fitness,Home,Sands of Time,Seasons — gardener @ 11:55 am

There are times when I think I’ve finally got this peri-menopause thing figured out, and wham! I get a surprise. Like the 8 day ‘early flow’ that started a few days ago. I didn’t see it coming, and didn’t know what hit me. Thankfully, a few days worth of laying low and lots of pain medication for cramps, and the worst of it was over.

Since I’d been erring on the side of late or not-at-all lately, this was a surprise. The culprit? I believe it’s because I started exercising again. I know what a huge difference cardio can make on many things, and obviously this was one of those things.

If all goes well, I should be back on the elliptical by the beginning of the weekend. Then next week, hopefully I’ll be able to get some walking in (if my heel spur cooperates) when we’re away for our anniversary.

July 9, 2013

Thoughts

Filed under: Life,Sands of Time — gardener @ 11:15 am

In a few short days I’ll turn 46. As Samantha said last week when she turned 44- Where has the time gone? I’ve been thinking about that a lot the past few weeks- not just about where the time has gone, but also what this last year has taught me. I’ve learned so much, not only about myself but about others and mostly that in staying true to ourselves- sometimes we have to say goodbye.

I’ve had some heartbreak this year, in fact- what I’d call serious heartbreak, but on the flip side of that coin- I’ve had experienced some beauty and joy beyond my wildest imagination. It trumps the heartbreak by far. Some may see it the other way- but I’m a firm believer that everything is about perspective. We either see things froma positive or a negative. It’s about choices.

Does that mean that I’ve not shed tears this year- No, quite the contrary- I’ve shed quite a few and even been angry at times, but I know that it’s been part of the healing process- and necessary for the journey to living my best life. I’m grateful for each lesson, for each tear, for all of it. I don’t understand it all yet- but I’m still grateful.

I found out this week that an old friend had a stroke- 43 years old. He’s having to learn how to walk again and use his left hand. Could it have been avoided? Possibly, but it wasn’t and thankfully he’s been given a second chance. I hope and pray that he’ll see it as that and use it to become a healthier, stronger person.

It really put things in perspective for me. Our choices- however small we think they are- matter. The people we spend our time with- matters. The relationships we invest in- matters. Every little thing- matters.

April 14, 2011

Train Wreck

Filed under: Life,Life's Little Hiccups,Sands of Time — gardener @ 10:54 am

Have you ever been on the outside looking in at someone who you know is a train-wreck waiting to happen, yet in spite of trying to talk to them and hope they will see what is happening- they instead pummet themselves into the victim role and refuse to see that the choices that they are making and have made are a direct result of the things that are happening in their life?  

That’s happening with someone I know right now-  It’s hard to watch and no matter what-   they don’t want to hear about making changes, even if it could mean making their problems at least maybe a little less severe.  Some wheels, once set in motion can’t be stopped, but some can at least be slowed with different choices.

It is painful to see- but we are all powerless to the choices of another.

March 19, 2011

Adios Winter

Filed under: Life,Sands of Time,Seasons — gardener @ 6:41 am

Today is the LAST (Yes, I said LAST) day of Winter and I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to kiss it goodbye for a while. I do love each season for the beauty that it possesses, but I’ve seen enough grey skies to last me a while (technically forever, but I guess a girl can’t have everything, can she?) and I’m ready to enjoy the sunshine. So much so, that I’m ready to pull out the Kindle and do some reading while soaking up a few rays and some much needed Vitamin D.

Good riddance winter and WELCOME SPRING!!!

What’s your favorite thing about Spring?

Mine?
-Flowers
-New life
-More Blue skies
-Warmer temps
-Longer days.. and the list goes on and on…

February 26, 2011

Remembering

Filed under: Health/ Fitness,Life,Memories,Sands of Time,Seasons — gardener @ 6:51 am

Lately, I’ve been having a LOT of dreams about Carol. Some of you who know me know who she is and others who have been reading this space for a while (or one of my other blogs) may also know that Carol was my aunt and best friend for many years. Last year she passed away after an out of the blue seizure that left her unable to survive without a ventilator.

In many ways it still seems surreal to me. I couldn’t go home for the funeral- not because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t make the trip alone. Emotionally, I knew I would crumble. Instead, I wrote something that was ultimately read at the funeral. When I think back about writing it- everything is pretty much a haze. Sort of like most of last year.

Last year in spite of all the great things that happened in my life- it was also a year of great loss. I didn’t stop to heal because too much was happening. One thing right after another- like a stack of dominos and the only way I knew to survive was to work. That would keep me from thinking… but as with all things we don’t deal with- comes back to haunt us later. (That’s an entry for another day.)

I’m sure I’m having the dreams because next week will be the anniversary of this horrible moment in time. Last night- I opened my document folder where I have the letter that I wrote for Carol’s service. I stared at it for a little while and then I read it- for the first time since I wrote it. I don’t remember capturing so much of the essence of who she was- as much as that’s possible on paper. I cried and cried some more.

There are still moments when I don’t believe it’s real, even one year later. Even now- I still am unable to write my feelings, at least not for the world to see. Maybe I could write them on a piece of paper and tuck them away- although I somehow doubt that as well. I know I should… It could only help.

February 19, 2011

On Age and Wisdom

Filed under: Health/ Fitness,Inspiration,Sands of Time — gardener @ 9:20 am

When I was around 20-21 years old, I remember thinking that I needed to lose weight. Granted, I didn’t ‘really’ need to lose weight, but somewhere I’d gotten this idea planted in my head. Back in the day- I didn’t think or know anything about ‘healthy eating’, so my solution was to take ephedra diet pills. Not only did it give me energy, it made me not even want to consider eating. Needless to say- I lost weight (even though I was already a size 8).

Here I am 20+ years later and several sizes larger than an 8 and learned that the best way to get where you want to go is to do the work, not by taking shortcuts. That can be said with diet and exercise, but also pretty much with everything else in life.

February 6, 2011

Back in the Swing of Things

Filed under: Home,Life,Sands of Time — gardener @ 11:10 am

My time online lately has been pretty scarce- in fact- it has been that way since we got home from vacation. At first I was trying to get over jet lag and really didn’t feel like being online and now that I’m almost past the jet lag, I have been busy trying to tackle other things in the house that has kept me away from the computer.

This weekend has been really windy and for some reason the only thing I’ve wanted to do is cook. I’ve done just that and made a fantastic pot of cauliflower-vegetable soup along with some brownies and BBQ pork for sandwiches.

There are many things that I’ve had on my to-do list for quite some time that I’ve decided it’s time to start doing. It may happen a little at a time- but it IS happening, and I love the feeling of making progress. I’ve also had a few ‘ah-ha’ moments this weekend and find myself feeling better than I have in a while, which makes me smile.

What about you- What makes you smile today?

I’m still working on finding a balance between computer time and time at home, but I know I’ll get there. I want to start spending more time reading blogs, since it has been a while since I’ve done that. I’ve missed some of my old favorites, plus I’d like to discover some new faves as well. I’ll probably start trying to give myself an hour a day for blog reading and see where it takes me.

November 18, 2010

First Things First

Filed under: Home,Life,Memories,Sands of Time,Travel — gardener @ 8:22 am

Yesterday we had three things on the agenda for our first day home. The first was to get some shopping done for some food and other things that I needed. I usually don’t travel with shampoo, deodorant or anything like that and just pick it up when we get to our destination. Since those are necessities, that was at the top of our list.

Mom and diddy are also in the market for a new computer, so part of our time was spent between two stores looking at computers and trying to find the most for their money. The decision between laptop and desktop is also on the table and yet to be decided. (I think we’re making progress though.)

Another thing was that I needed to go to the cemetary to Carol’s grave. It was hard- really hard and I found that I just wanted to run out of the cemetary. I couldn’t seem to allow myself to cry freely- I’m not sure why. Instead, I walked away and went to the other part of the cemetary to visit my grand and great grandparents graves.

When I was done, I got back in the van and mom told me that last week my cousin died. She couldn’t bare to tell me yet another person had passed away this year. Jerry had been sick for many years and I’d planned to see him while I was home. I guess God had other plans. I can’t wrap my head around the loss that has happened this year. I’m going to work through it though, a little at a time.

I’m SO happy to be home.

November 4, 2010

Enveloped in Sadness

Filed under: Memories,Sands of Time — gardener @ 11:28 am

I called Sheila earlier to see how she was doing. I knew she’d been struggling but I know by talking to her I have to confront the very things that I’ve been trying to avoid- and that something is Carol’s death. I know- for someone who is a take-the-bull-by-the-horns kind of girl, I’ve been avoiding this whole thing. Not Sheila- I love her dearly, but anything that puts me in that path of the sadness I feel when I think about it. It being the life changing event of Carol’s death.

I love Sheila dearly and the truth of the matter is I WANT to be there for her. I wish that I could go back in time- wave a magic wand and give her the life that she deserved to have. It wasn’t that she had a bad life- she didn’t. She had parents who love her very much- but things should have been different, but they weren’t.

I put my own self aside and called her. We had the small talk and this time she opened up to me- really opened up to me and I was able to talk to her- cry with her and open up. When I hung up the phone- I felt gutted. I still do- I feel as though a blanket of sadness has been thrown over my head and I know there’s nothing I can do but walk through it.

Sometimes… if having a magic wand were enough- … I know this too shall pass- but it’s one of those things that will take a while. I’m trying to give it that time.

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