I’m still not at 100% but thankfully I’m headed there. I’ve found that I’m very tired and on most mornings I’m sleeping far later than I’ve slept in a very long time. Obviously my body needs it, so I’m not complaining. I just hope it doesn’t need it for too much longer because I’m missing out on some precious daylight hours.

I’ve noticed over the past couple of days that the scent of fall is in the air. Some of you may not recognize it because it isn’t a particular scent, but a feel. The air has been cool for a while, but there is a sudden crispness that wasn’t there before. I find myself smiling and wanting to spend time outside of the house. I think I’m going to spend more time in the evenings sitting outside drinking coffee and watching the sun go down. It’s something small, but one of those things that brings a smile to my face and joy to my heart.

What brings a smile to your face?

I really do believe this is the problem- now it’s time to fix it.

I did manage to get a few things done last night. I responded to a few emails, read some information on http://www.wholesaleinsurance.net, and even managed to get a few blog entries written. This morning I’m going to attempt to do a little work, although I’m not sure how successful I’ll be- I’m going to try. After all, vacation time is still a few months away.

I’m not sure who all has read these and who hasn’t, but this journey has definitely caused me to think- to pause and look at my life and search my soul on several occasions, and to be authentic (something that I’m striving to be each and every day). I would like to say that I walk away from this experience with a little more ‘wiz’dom, or maybe a little more knowledge about myself. Maybe you learned something about me- or maybe you didn’t. Either way- it’s ok with me, because I learned something about me- that I need to live in the moment more than what I’ve been doing. I’m still working out the details on how to do that, because sometimes things happen (like death) that leave me spinning my wheels and wondering which way is up.

The great thing about life is that it’s a journey of lessons and I happen to be a willing student. Are you?

Day 30- One last moment, in great detail.

This is actually in direct relation to another moment I described earlier in the month- only this one takes place in the Netherlands and not in Prague. My friend Vivian and I were in the city of Utrecht and we were walking around exploring and she suggested that we visit this huge tower “Dom Tower” and climb to the top. I could see that it was massive, but I figured ‘why not’, since I’m always up for an adventure. What I didn’t know is that this particular adventure would take us up more than 465 steps to reach the top.

I remember hearing that number and thinking- “Am I serious- I can’t do that.” but as quickly as I allowed myself to think that- I squashed the negative dialogue and knew that I WAS going to do it and I did. At a certain point, you get to the main bell tower area and the guide tells you if you want to go further to feel free. It’s the last little way and I remember Vivian looking at me and saying we didn’t have to go that last little way. We walked around a little while and I commented that if we didn’t do it, we’d be sorry that we didn’t, so in the end- we decided to go for it after all. We made it to the top and not without a bit of panting before we got to the top of that winding staircase, but we did it.  (The picture to your left is the view from the top looking down.)

Another moment when I realized that I really could do anything if I set my mind to it. It was a great moment, and I’m happy that I shared the experience with my friend Vivian. I’m also happy that she came up with the idea- so Thank you Vivi! I miss you!

Thanks to y’all who have stuck around and read these. I hope you walk away with a better understanding of who I am- and what makes me ‘tick’.

This is another hard one- mostly because I find that those aspirations change as I change and grow.

When I was 21 I wanted to be the next talk show sensation- much like Oprah, but with my own style.  

There are many things that I aspire towards, and this morning I was thinking about how I could make those aspirations into realities.   Ultimately, I know that will take a little change on my part- but change is always possible.

I aspire to find the lessons in life- to grow and become the person that God intended me to become (which is far greater than anything I could want to become on my own)-  to make a positive difference- to inspire-   to live MY best life.

Day 28- Something that you miss, in great detail.

This is a big one-   There are so many things that I miss.   I miss my family and friends that I don’t get to see regularly because we don’t live in the immediate area.  I miss long-ago friends that I have lost contact with over the years and wish that I could reconnect with.   Luckily for Facebook, I’ve been able to do that with some people and I’m so grateful.   The Internet is an awesome tool.

I miss people-  I miss my grandmothers.  I miss that I never got to know my grandpa Tanner as well as I’d like because he died when I was around 12 years old.   I miss Carol. 

I miss not being a part of some people’s lives in spite of really wanting to be. 

I miss Muffy and Lucky- two of my favorite kitties ever (both strays) who loved completely.  I miss their anxiousness to show that love and to greet me with affection no matter how long it had been since they’d seen me last.

I miss being home to be a part of life events such as helping Olivia and Ainsley move into their college dorms at USM.   

I miss seeing my precious nephew participate in all the sports that he’s involved in and going to his school and church programs.

One of the things I miss most is the innocence of being oblivious to the pain that others are struggling with and knowing I can’t change things.  That one is a double-edged sword.

Since his wife is my cousin, I know just how fun she is, so I told him he should have some fun with the wedding anniversary gifts. I sent him the picture that you see on your left and told him that I thought he should order it for her, but instead of wrapping it up and giving it to her on their anniversary that he should serve her dinner while he’s wearing it. He loved the idea, and said that he was going to go for it.

Oh how I wish I was a fly on the wall for that moment.