Day 21- Another moment, in great detail.
I like to focus on positive things, but when I read that I was supposed to describe another moment, I decided to write what came to mind. That something is Carol’s death. Truth is. I can’t write about in great detail, because I’m still not at a point in my life where I can. I am sure that day will come, and when it does, I will share it. I know it will help to be able to write more about it, but right now- the words fail me.
All I can say is that when the moment occured that I knew Carol was not going to make it out of the coma she was in, that I honestly felt as though someone put my heart through a vise grip. Those who know me, know that death sends me for a spin every single time- even when it’s someone that I hardly know- but this was different.
Carol was, for many years the closest person to me. We were very different people, yet she was like a sister to me. She was more than my aunt, for many years she was my best friend. Losing her was beyond comprehension to me, and in some ways- it still isn’t real.
Since that day in early March, I’ve lost 4 other people that I knew- even if not well. Since March, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about death at least once. Sometimes, it’s more than once. Some people will say that it’s a part of life, and while I know that to be true mentally- I can’t seem to wrap my heart around that idea.
That one moment- I will never forget.