Through The Tulips

I have a friend who recently lost her long time job as an administrative assitant when the company she worked for went belly up. I feel really bad for her, especially since she’s a single mother of three and at this point she’s been unable to find work in her field. I sent her a message last night suggesting that maybe she check into sales job as something to do until she can get work in her field. I’m sure she would be great, plus any income coming in is better than none. She liked the idea and said that she may end up with a new career. I love her positive attitude in spite of everything.

Day 26- Your fears, in great detail.

My biggest fear without a doubt is irrational (but then so are most fears), but it’s spiders.  Large or small, I don’t discriminate- I hate them all.   They send me into a tizzy.

Other fears-  Losing people that I love.   I’ve seen far too much death this year and it has been weighing heavily on my heart.  It isn’t something that can be avoided, but I wish I wasn’t so sensitive to it.   Not that anyone enjoys it- but if I’m not careful it can send me into a depression.  Logically I understand it to be a part of life, but emotionally-  I don’t think I’ll ever be there.

I’ve been doing a lot of research as of late on the best ways to get my website listed in many places and it seems like that no matter what I tend to read, it all turns back to using Search Engine Optimisation, or SEO as you will mostly see it written. I know that it means making the most of out of certain keywords that web crawlers tend to like and pick up on, so that when a person searches for something such as- the ‘iPhone 4′ – it would find them linked back to something that I wrote on this page.

I understand the concept, and know that using SEO also means doing more than using one keyword one time on my blog. I know that in order to get the most optimization you should use a specific word several times throughout the blog entry, so that it somehow will be picked up by the crawlers and indexed by the search engines. I’m starting to understand the concept more and more, so now all I have to do is come up with a viable plan to use it on my site, or I could let the professionals take care of it. I think I’m up for the challenge.

Day 25- A First, in great detail.

I decided to describe a first that I haven’t had yet, but one that I will have later on this year-  two firsts actually. 

Later this year, I’ll take my first cruise and I can’t wait.    Not only will the cruise be a first for me, but while on the cruise I have plans to swimwith the dolphins- something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time.    Both will be firsts, and I can’t wait to experience them both.  

The fact that I’ll share these firsts with some of my favorite people makes the entire process even sweeter.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about health and wellness and wondering why I haven’t been making all the right choices with my own wellness as of late.    For the most part my eating is great.  I eat the right things and stay within my calorie ranges, but the exercise motivation has left the building.   I’ll exercise for a few days and then I’ll stop.  I KNOW it’s a matter of just ‘doing it’, but I haven’t been able to get to that point.

I think it’s time to get my new site off the ground and to start being accountable to myself.  Every day is a new day!

Day 24- Something that makes you cry, in great detail.

I’m a very emotional person, so I tend to cry easily. Couple that with the fact that I am extremely empathetic and that would make me a crybaby by many people’s standards.

MANY things make me cry- both the happy and the sad.

To name a few- Happy meetings at airports (even when they aren’t my own), Death, Hormones, Seeing another extremely happy or sad, Hallmark commercials or anything that evokes emotion, Television shows, Emails, Facebook Status messages, and the list goes on.

It seems like other little things keep popping up that keep me from spending any time on the computer aside from work. Here I am a day later but better late than never, right? That’s what I keep telling myself anyway.

Day 23- Something that makes you feel better, in great detail.

This isn’t very specific, so I’m not sure in what context it’s meant, so I’ll be broad with my response.

When I’m sick, aside from medication making me feel better, knowing that there is someone there to offer me a kind word, to do something for me to make my life a little bit easier are all things that make me feel better.

When I am struggling (and since I often struggle in silence- there are few who would know), it makes me feel better to know that someone cares or to know that they are thinking of me.

Love- That makes everything better.

Mom is probably going to love me for writing this here, but she and I have been talking for a couple of years about starting a new business together. Technically, she would be the mastermind behind the business and I would take care of the technical side and do the Internet part of it. It’s something that I know would be successful, but this is one of those cases where I think we’ve talked long enough about the venture and now it’s time to start making it happen.

Yesterday I started looking into custom business card designs for what will become mom’s business. I have been thinking about logo designs and hope to create several designs that she’ll like. Once she makes the choice (or I’ll choose if she’s resistant), I’ll use the logo for the site, the business cards and also for the labels that we add to the products.

I know mom is going to be successful even if it means me giving her a little push to get the momentum going. Once the business cards are done and a few other things are taken care of; she’ll be ready to go, and I’ll be standing there cheering her on, ready to offer a hand when I can.

Day 22-  Something that upsets me, in great detail.

There are many things that upset me, but the topic of something that really has me going lately is childhood obesity.   It upsets me to think that parents complain about their children being overweight, but yet they are the ones who bring the food into the house; they are the ones who are responsible for putting the food on the table or taking the kids out to eat; aren’t making sure that the kids get enough exercise and then wonder how they came to be overweight. 

I’m no Saint and I’m still on my own weight-loss journey, but I’ve learned in the past six months that some people don’t really know what ‘eating healthy’ is all about.   I know that some people d0, but it seems that more often than not- people really don’t ‘get it’.  

I could go on and on about this- but I think I’ll stop there- you get the point.   Expect to hear more on this subject from me though.

Day 21-  Another moment, in great detail.

I like to focus on positive things, but when I read that I was supposed to describe another moment, I decided to write what came to mind.   That something is Carol’s death.     Truth is.  I can’t write about in great detail, because I’m still not at a point in my life where I can.  I am sure that day will come, and when it does, I will share it.   I know it will help to be able to write more about it, but right now- the words fail me.

All I can say is that when the moment occured that I knew Carol was not going to make it out of the coma she was in, that I honestly felt as though someone put my heart through a vise grip.     Those who know me, know that death sends me for a spin every single time- even when it’s someone that I hardly know- but this was different.    

Carol was, for many years the closest person to me.   We were very different people, yet she was like a sister to me.  She was more than my aunt, for many years she was my best friend.    Losing her was beyond comprehension to me, and in some ways- it still isn’t real.

Since that day in early March, I’ve lost 4 other people that I knew- even if not well.   Since March, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about death at least once.   Sometimes, it’s more than once.     Some people will say that it’s a part of life, and while I know that to be true mentally- I can’t seem to wrap my heart around that idea.

That one moment- I will never forget.