I hear a lot about how ‘busy’ people are. I’m unsure why- but it’s one of my little pet peeves- I’ve asked myself why that is on more than one occasion and the one thing that comes to mind time and time again is because we’re all busy in various forms. Rarely are we all the same type of busy- after all, I’m definitely not the same kind of busy as my friends with small children, or one of my friends training for a marathon, but there is always ‘something’ to do- somewhere to be- and so forth.
I ran into a neighbor the other day I haven’t seen in a while- We exchanged hellos and I asked how she was doing- Her response was the same as it always is- BUSY! only this time she said it three times- Busy Busy Busy. I responded with, ‘Aren’t we all?’ She immediately started talking about how now it was the holiday season and things would be even crazier and busier- etc.. so I intentionally shifted the conversation- from the rush rush rush of being hectic- to ask her if she would be visiting her family for the holidays. She said no- and immediately went into to how busy she was so she couldn’t make it happen for longer than 9 days so she was going to wait until she was ‘less busy’. I smiled and wished her a good holiday season as we parted ways.
Sometimes, busy is a reason we use not to be present in our current situations. After all- when we keep our mind busy jumping from one task to the other, we don’t have time to sit still with ourselves do we? Before you think or even ask- NO, I’m not referring to my neighbor, or anyone in particular- I’m making a general observation about myself, as that’s the only person I can talk about with any authority.
When I find myself wanting to disconnect and not feel- I make myself busy- Busy with mental projects, physical projects, travel, baking, work, work, eating.. anything that keeps me from being ‘still’ and in the moment. It means I’m running from something I don’t want to face. Sometimes it’s something small- sometimes it’s something life changing and I’ve not quite got to the point where I’m ready to create a plan- so I avoid with busy. It doesn’t change anything- it just means I’m prolonging whatever it is I need to deal with.
I am not suggesting that a busy life means you’re avoiding something. We have more to do than ever- but when we constantly NEED to be doing something, anything- and can’t stop and really be still with ourselves without it being very uncomfortable, then something is not quite right.
How do we find balance? We schedule it- just like any other appointment. Time to exercise, write, meditate, color, create. Whatever ‘IT’ is that brings you to your center- time that you spend with YOU. You are the best company for yourself. Think about what is working in your life- what isn’t. Don’t beat yourself up when something isn’t working the way you wanted or hoped. Instead, be proactive in creating a new plan that may work better. Keep trying until you start receiving the results you desire. It may mean starting over and regrouping several times, but keep trying.
It’s something I am doing myself. We don’t love ourselves enough. We aren’t kind enough to ourselves. We need to be kinder, more gentle and sometimes we do need to be tough with ourselves and force ourselves to sit and ‘be’ with no one other than ourselves. It is the only way to learn who you really are- what’s holding you back- what drives you- and what brings joy to your soul.
Everything is about finding the right balance that works for you- and understanding that it will change as we do. It’s fluid, like water.
During this holiday season- I am taking extra steps to find the balance- to reconnect with myself and stop automating through so many things in life and to intentionally NOT be busy from time to time- Try it. It will be hard at first, especially if you’ve got an attachment to being busy- but once you sit with yourself for a while- you’ll realize there is no better company than you.