Through The Tulips Words of 'Wiz'dom

September 22, 2010

No Place Like Home

Filed under: Holidays,Home,Memories — gardener @ 11:29 am

I didn’t realize until I logged in here that I haven’t written here in five days.   I thought it had only been two or so, but as life flies by at warp speed I guess days seem to pass and I’m not quite sure where they went. 

I’m on the countdown until we head home for the holidays and I have to say with each passing day, I find myself getting more and more excited.    I also realized today that this visit won’t come without it’s moments of heartache, as I was thinking today about Carol and it hit me that I wouldn’t see her.   For a brief moment, I thought that I was stuck in a dream that she’s no longer here, and when I realized that pinching myself couldn’t make me any more awake than I already was- I went into a panic for a moment.  I found myself wanting to scream and cry- but I knew that while they may not go unheard- it wouldn’t change a thing.   It makes me heart heavy knowing that when I see her grave that the part of me that sometimes believes her death was all a bad dream will be no more.  

Even with that being said-  I still can’t wait to be ‘home’.   I’m blessed enough to have two places to call home- but no matter what location on the map I may call home- my heart will always be in the Deep South.    There truly is ‘no place like home.’-  wherever that may be.

September 13, 2010

Smiles, Everyone Smiles

Filed under: Life,Memories,photography — gardener @ 10:56 am

  I was extremely busy this weekend but it was one of those ‘fun’ kinds of being busy.    I spent the day in a nearby city with some great friends on Saturday and then Saturday evening the ‘party’ moved to our home and included a visit from friends from out of town.    The guys went to the movies and that left us girls to goof off and have a great time.  We didn’t have any problems doing that.

While I was walking through the city with my friend Kimmie, we came across this couple who had just gotten married and were dancing in the streets.  The crowds gathered around the happy couple and even though you can’t see it in the picture; the bride is very pregnant.    The house they are dancing in front of is their own, and several seconds after I’d taken the picture a friend came out of their home with a pair of flat shoes to replace the stilettos that I was unsure how she was walking in- much less dancing.

I couldn’t decide whether to take a picture- mostly becasue I didn’t want anyone chasing me down the street, but in the end, I did.   Seeing them so happy brought a great deal of joy to my soul and at one point my friend Kimmie asked if I was going to start crying (obviously she knows me well) .   My answer was that I may and if we had stood there much longer, I have no doubt that the tears would have started falling.

I love seeing people happy and this was a joyous day for this beautiful couple.  I hope they have a wonderful life together.

September 9, 2010

The Brain Game- Always Fascinating

Filed under: Health/ Fitness,Life,Memories — gardener @ 11:24 am

I was thinking earlier about how amazing the human mind is.   There are times when I’ll be talking to my friend Samantha or someone who has known me for equally as long and they’ll bring up something that happened in the past.   Sometimes I’ll remember the moment and other times I won’t, or maybe I’ll remember it in a completely different way.  

It’s funny how things that we haven’t thought about in years will suddenly pop into the forefront of our mind- like me remembering when my mom turned 30 (I was 10) and thinking (and possibly even telling her) that 30 was old.   Now, at 43 I can’t imagine ever thinking that 30 was old.  In fact, I don’t even see 60 as old anymore.  100 is what I consider to be old these days.    Yet, I still find it amazing that I would even remember such a tiny event in my life and wonder what caused me to hold on to that memory.  

Have you ever wondered what makes us remember some small events, while completely forgetting others?   I wonder how the brain categorizes those moments and how it determines what stays and what goes.  I’ll forever remain fascinated at our bodies and how they work.

August 1, 2010

And So It Begins- 30 Days

Filed under: 30 Days To...,Life,Memories — gardener @ 8:56 am

My really good friend Carrie is doing this thing on Facebook where each day she shares something about herself for 30 days- It’s called 30 days of honesty. I thought that rather than put it on Facebook, that it would actually be good blog fodder, plus this way I can keep it and use it to reflect on at a later date.

Since today is the first day of August, I thought it would be great to start with today and work forward with something new each day. I’m expecting a lot of changes in the next couple of months, so this is a great time to begin.

So- without further babbling- here we go…

Day 1- Introduce Yourself-

Well, since I’m not putting all my personal information out here for the world to see, I’ll give you my first name- or shall I say the name that most everyone calls me, and that’s Lori. No, that isn’t my real name, but actually something that comes from my middle name, which happens to be Lorreen. I can count on one hand the number of people who actually call me by my real name, and they aren’t close family or friends.

What can I say about myself ? Let’s see- I recently turned 43 years old and I’m on a quest to become the best person that I can be. I am a Christian, I’m sometimes silly, sometimes serious and very empathetic and emotional. I have a husband, named Marcel who is my second marriage. I’ve never had any children and for many years didn’t want any. Once I decided it would be great to have a child, it didn’t happen for us, and I’m at peace with that. I do believe that things happen as they are supposed to. Instead, we have two 4-legged members of our family. Mister Mistoffelees, a beautiful Ragdoll kitty who is 5 years old and JJ, a Cairn Terrier puppy, who turns one this month. They keep us on our toes, so maybe it’s a good thing we don’t have children after all.

I grew up on the coast of Southern Mississippi and it’s the place I will always call my first home. I believe I’m a good friend, although there is always room to be a better one. I have made MANY mistakes in my life- and I’ve learned from most of them. I’m extremely stubborn, although I try not to be. I like to talk and I’m eternally curious. I love to learn new things and I like to be mentally challenged. I also love creating and having fun.

I could continue, but you get the idea for now. If you have any questions- please feel free to ask.

March 16, 2010

When All Else Fails- Be Grateful

Filed under: Gratitude,Life,Memories — gardener @ 12:28 pm

Last night I had a mini- (ok not so mini) meltdown. It came late, at 12:30 at night, but I guess those kind of things don’t really have a schedule, they just come and go when they please. It wasn’t pretty, and I’d like to say that I woke up this morning feeling like a million bucks, but I’d be lying to you, and to myself.

I’m not being negative, but I’m greiving and these things take time. I can’t apologize for it, because it just is what it is.

What I can do, is take a little time to be grateful for the things in my life today and share them with you. Maybe it will inspire you in the midst of your own life to take a moment, pause and just be grateful.

My Gratitude List for March 16, 2010

Today I’m Grateful For:

  • Bobbi joining us today at Bible Study and having some time to chat with her and catch up in the train.
  • Sunshine and warmer temperatures.
  • Going for an after dinner walk with JJ and Marcel in the sunshine.
  • A light workload.
  • Illy Coffee with Vanilla Coffee-Mate

Fallen In A Rabbit Hole

Filed under: Life,Memories — gardener @ 12:23 pm

This morning I woke up after a really bad night and almost wished I was like Alice and had fallen into a hole and woke up somewhere like Wonderland. After all, any place with disappearing cats that smile can’t be all bad right?

I’m doing a lot of going through the motions, and attempting to keep my head filled with so many random thoughts that I don’t have time to think about what really is happening deep within the recesses of my mind. The painful things. I know I need to, but right now I just can’t. I saw that last night. What I am finding out is that when I keep my mind busy like this that it is like taking diet supplements, because I tend to have to remind myself to eat at the proper times when I know I should be eating. I’ve also started back on the elliptical, which has done wonders with the anxiety I’ve been feeling. I just hope that some of this will begin to hurt a little less soon and that I won’t keep asking myself, what if?

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