Most people who know me know how much I love quotations. Sometimes, they offer the perfect food for thought, and sometimes they really serve to teach us something not only about ourselves, but also about others.
About a month ago, someone I consider a friend contacted me about a quote that I used on Facebook. She shared some personal things with me (which I won’t discuss here or anywhere else) and how that quote resonated with her. After that we talked a bit more and I shared one of my all-time favorites with her:
“When people show you who they are, believe them.” -Maya Angelou
That is a quote that I have had to remember on more than one occasion. I believe the thing with us is that we tend to want to make ‘excuses’ as to why people behave and react the way they do in certain situations. Maybe it’s because we want to think the best of that person or maybe it’s because we would prefer to wear rose colored glasses and see the person how we would like them to be, or how we thought they were.
The thing is- when we continue to make excuse after excuse for a person, the only person we are fooling is ourselves. When someone shows us who they are, time and time again, but yet we refuse to see it, what are we telling ourselves, and better yet, what are we telling that person about us?
I’m all about forgiveness, and this definitely isn’t about whether you should or shouldn’t forgive a person. I believe you can forgive a person without having to hang out with them or even interact with them. There is a difference between forgiveness and accepting bad behaviour.
At the beginning of this year, I made a promise to myself that I would definitely pay attention when people show me who they are and stop making excuses for them. Being a friend to someone is a privilege and not a ‘right’. I promised myself that in an effort to live a better life that I would slowly eliminate those toxic people out of my life and that I’d stop making excuses for them when they exhibit bad behaviour.
None of us are perfect. Lord knows I”m not. I make enough mistakes and I know it. I’m not talking about mistakes- I’m talking about a pattern of behaviour in a ‘so called’ friendship or relationship that continues to rear it’s head. At a certain point- you either learn that “the person is showing you WHO THEY ARE” or you continue to live in denial. At that point, you also decide if you will continue to be drained from that relationship or if you will finally “BELIEVE” who that person is, and move on.
That choice is never an easy one, but sometimes it’s time to take off those rose colored classes and move on.