Being in the land of ‘dizziness’ has given me a lot of time to think. It has also given me some moments of frustration since I don’t do well sitting still for days on end- but that’s a story for another day. I take this as being my body’s way of telling me to stop and slow down for a lttle while. I finally stopped stressing about it and started listening.. Since then I’ve slept better and even though I’m still dizzy- I’m not constantly thinking about what needs to be done that I can’t accomplish at the moment. This is temporary and I’m doing what I can. That is what matters.
I am a thinker, an analyzer and sometimes that isn’t to my benefit. I overthink and overcomplicate some things, although I’ve gotten much better with that in recent years. I’m still a work in progresss, but I’m really starting to realize what matters more and what doesn’t.
There was a time (even recently) when I would give a lot of time thinking about why certain people tend to be so catty and negative about people they are supposedly friends with. I was one of those people that they did that with on occasion. I did not get it, but would spend hours evaluating it from every angle trying to ‘get it’. Finally- I realized that I wouldn’t get it- because I can’t see things from a perspective of jealousy.
I’m not a jealous person. I’m not sure if I ever have been, although I’m sure the green monster has reared its head in my life at some point- it’s not something I can remember. I have insecurities- but on the whole, I’m confident in who I am. I want the people that I love and care about to be happy and successful and when they have triumphs and joys- I’m genuinely thrilled for them. I cheer them on and it brings my heart joy to see them succeed. So- I learned that it is impossible for me to understand the mentality of someone who begrudges another for their successes or who feels that their way is the only way. (We are all different people and have different ways of doing things- it doesn’t make one right and the other wrong- just different. I celebrate differences and have often learned things from seeing someone elses perspective.) I’m not interested in being a cookie cutter version of anyone. I’m me and I’m glad of that!
So I’ve learned in this week- so that makes it time not wasted.. I’ve learned you can’t make sense from someone elses nonsense when your thoughts and ideals are completely different. It makes it easy to just shake my head and move on.