Through The Tulips Words of 'Wiz'dom

June 27, 2021

The Little Things…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , — gardener @ 9:37 am

For as long as I can remember- I’ve believed that when we focus on something- it expands. Sometimes it is as simple as thinking about said thing- and in some form or another it will appear in your life.

As a not-so-glamorous example- Last night I was thinking… It had been a while since my cat had thrown up, which I was (note: past tense ) grateful for. It literally crossed my thoughts and left as quickly as it entered and yet- this morning at 6 am- guess who threw up on the bed? You guessed it.

My first thought was- try never to think about the cat throwing up again.

But there are also beautiful things that happen along this same line- but it is so important to not only be aware of what we put out into the world- but also be specific when it’s something we wish for.

It’s no secret if you know me in my daily life- that The Wizard of Oz is one of my all time favorite movies. As a child- I didn’t see the deeply rooted significance about Dorothy Gale from Kansas and how her technicolor trip to Oz via tornado taught her one of life’s biggest lessons- We always have the power, but at first we have to believe it.

There is a scene in the movie where the Wicked Witch casts a spell over them to fall asleep in a field of poppys as they are on their way to see the Great and powerful Oz. As a small girl, that was the first time I ever saw a poppy, television or otherwise and I was drawn to the deep beautiful red color. Since Poppies aren’t native to the Deep South- it wasn’t until the early 90’s before I saw poppies for the first time in Southern California on a hillside- it was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.

Fast forward to many years later- This time of the years the poppies appear across the countryside here- growing wild and their beautiful color joy inducing. Last year- in the midst of the pandemic- the garden became the place we met a few friends and we poured a lot of time and energy into beginning to turn it into a beautiful oasis of peace and rest. Last year I noticed a few mauve poppies in the garden, and yet I couldn’t help but wish for more- and also the red beautiful poppies I loved so much.

This spring- as I was clearing weeds after much rainfall- I noticed a few plants growing at al alarming speed and dwarfing my already struggling hydrangeas that a friend gave me last year when she redid her own garden. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it looked like ‘something’ so I decided to let it grow and see what it became. The following day- I noticed another of the same type of plant opposite of that one- also in the ‘way’ of other plants that had been placed there intentionally. I left it to grow and for weeks it kept getting taller, but it seemed to be doing ‘nothing’. I was at the point where I had become impatient with it- as it wasn’t the most beautiful of greenery and I noticed a small bud, which compelled me to look closer- and from there I saw many blooms. Over the weeks that followed the blooms multiplied at a fast pace and I knew from the first bloom it was a poppy plant- both of them. A different variety than the mauve ones, but ones that were most likely to be red.

Indeed- as they began to bloom- I smiled & even cried on one occasion- in awe that nature- all these years later had given me my very own poppy ‘field’ one that I didn’t plant, but that ‘showed up’.

As the time went along- other poppies appeared- the mauve variants all over the garden in random spots- They never once fail to make me smile.

Last week I saw a deep fuschia poppy somewhere else- and smiled having never seen that color before and loving it. Today- one of that exact color was blooming in my garden.

Coincidence? I think not-

It’s a reminder that I need to remember that where my focus is- so am I- and how after the past couple of years of struggling and having so much heartache and heartbreak that I have to refocus and know that life is not perfect, but it gives us tiny little gifts each day to fill our hearts- and those are worth noticing.

June 24, 2021

For the Love of Mental Health

While I believe that physical health is extremely important- for me, I’ve learned that mental health has to come first, which I know can be difficult for many of us- in a world where thinking of ‘self’ tends to lend more of selfish note- which of course in turn creates shame and in turn mental health suffers on top of that.

I have learned to ignore any shame projections when I say I can’t do something because I have a date with myself- There was a time in the not so distant past where I wouldn’t do that. I would put ‘me’ on hold any time someone would need something, which meant I would be giving, yet not giving myself time to replenish and restore. I’ve since learned better, but that has not been an easy lesson to learn, and if I’m being completely honest- it’s something I have to be vigilant about, otherwise I’ll fall into the trappings of letting my restorative time go in place of helping someone else or checking something off the ‘to do’ list.

For years I’ve had a huge aversion to the word ‘busy’ as it has become a word that for some gleams importance and to be doing ‘nothing’ in some circles seemed as something that was as foreign as walking into the streets of a country you’d never been to and hearing a language you’ve never heard.

Truth is- we all have our idea of what busy is and for years I actively described it myself as being productive as that’s what society suggested it was, yet- as I sit here typing this- surrounded by sheets of paper for a project I’m working on, a vintage cookbook, a dog who is letting me know that it’s time to take a walk, a few dishes that need to be washed, plus a book that is calling to be read- they are all things I can busy myself with- some essential (I’m looking at you JJ the pup & dishes), and some that are deadline related (hello papers), plus some that are fun and restorative to my soul- such as tapping these letters out on the keyboard and thinking about the book that I’m going to curl up with once I’ve done the things above.

All of these things are and can be coined as busy- yet, because they are all things I love, including the work project, dishes and walking the dog- they are also restorative and I file them in the ‘self care’ category. Writing again- after years of not really sharing my soul on paper- is something I was missing for my own mental health. It helps me process, plus it gives me something to refer to in the future when I need a reminder of where I’ve been and how far I’ve come

What do you do for your own mental health?

Here are a few things that I’ve done today for me- some are small, but all matter to me.

  • Walked home from the grocery store. 20 minutes-
  • Spent 30 minutes on the elliptical.
  • Made myself a cappuccino for the first time in a very long time. Sat in silence and enjoyed every sip.
  • Listened to the sound of the birds and watched bees flitting from one flower to the next.
  • Listened to Brene Brown’s Unlocking Us Podcast where she is doing a Sisters summer series on the Gifts of Imperfection book.

I’ve owned the book for years- and I’m going to start rereading it again. I took Brene’s Whole Hearted Inventory from the Gifts of Imperfection (it can be found on the Brene Brown website) and I already have seen areas that I need to be working harder on- which are also areas where I have fallen back over the past couple of years when life has been filled with a lot of dark times.

Always a work in progress. Always learning- Always Grateful.

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