While I believe that physical health is extremely important- for me, I’ve learned that mental health has to come first, which I know can be difficult for many of us- in a world where thinking of ‘self’ tends to lend more of selfish note- which of course in turn creates shame and in turn mental health suffers on top of that.
I have learned to ignore any shame projections when I say I can’t do something because I have a date with myself- There was a time in the not so distant past where I wouldn’t do that. I would put ‘me’ on hold any time someone would need something, which meant I would be giving, yet not giving myself time to replenish and restore. I’ve since learned better, but that has not been an easy lesson to learn, and if I’m being completely honest- it’s something I have to be vigilant about, otherwise I’ll fall into the trappings of letting my restorative time go in place of helping someone else or checking something off the ‘to do’ list.
For years I’ve had a huge aversion to the word ‘busy’ as it has become a word that for some gleams importance and to be doing ‘nothing’ in some circles seemed as something that was as foreign as walking into the streets of a country you’d never been to and hearing a language you’ve never heard.
Truth is- we all have our idea of what busy is and for years I actively described it myself as being productive as that’s what society suggested it was, yet- as I sit here typing this- surrounded by sheets of paper for a project I’m working on, a vintage cookbook, a dog who is letting me know that it’s time to take a walk, a few dishes that need to be washed, plus a book that is calling to be read- they are all things I can busy myself with- some essential (I’m looking at you JJ the pup & dishes), and some that are deadline related (hello papers), plus some that are fun and restorative to my soul- such as tapping these letters out on the keyboard and thinking about the book that I’m going to curl up with once I’ve done the things above.
All of these things are and can be coined as busy- yet, because they are all things I love, including the work project, dishes and walking the dog- they are also restorative and I file them in the ‘self care’ category. Writing again- after years of not really sharing my soul on paper- is something I was missing for my own mental health. It helps me process, plus it gives me something to refer to in the future when I need a reminder of where I’ve been and how far I’ve come
What do you do for your own mental health?
Here are a few things that I’ve done today for me- some are small, but all matter to me.
- Walked home from the grocery store. 20 minutes-
- Spent 30 minutes on the elliptical.
- Made myself a cappuccino for the first time in a very long time. Sat in silence and enjoyed every sip.
- Listened to the sound of the birds and watched bees flitting from one flower to the next.
- Listened to Brene Brown’s Unlocking Us Podcast where she is doing a Sisters summer series on the Gifts of Imperfection book.
I’ve owned the book for years- and I’m going to start rereading it again. I took Brene’s Whole Hearted Inventory from the Gifts of Imperfection (it can be found on the Brene Brown website) and I already have seen areas that I need to be working harder on- which are also areas where I have fallen back over the past couple of years when life has been filled with a lot of dark times.
Always a work in progress. Always learning- Always Grateful.